Set 'em up, knock 'em down!

I made the mistake of plowing through a lot of "tasks" today.
Accomplishment level: inflated high.
Would I rather have done something meatier?
Of course!
I had that as my plan, as well as the little piddly things.
But I didn't get to the heart of what I needed to do until the end of the day.
And that just made me want to kick myself right into the next county.
I am better than this.
But, alas, my attention span is for shit of late.
I vacilate between a lack of motivation, and then a desire to turn into a whilrwind.
No middle-ground for this cookie.
I plot out a plan for the day.
I get a good head of steam going, and then, inevitably, some task or request comes in that derails me.
My time is not really my own right now.
And I've come to accept that.
The problem arises, when my motivation is in the crapper and then I have shit to do, I can't seem to get my engine revved, and then when I DO finally get going, WHAM! A request that I HAVE to fulfill.
Maybe I don't have to fulfill it, but I am obliged to at least respond to the request.
And, more often than not, because I have put myself in that position, I DO have to fulfill it.
Saying "no" is not an option right now.
I need to get ahead of the curve.
I am making strides in other areas, so I guess my work-life can take a backseat for now.
We are in a serious transition time and I am more focused on ME than anything else.
And some experts would say that that is time well spent.
However, it doesn't get my staff motivated, it doesn't get audits completed, it doesn't get the special project done.
I need a work re-boot.
But I am not feeling like putting the effort out.
We need a giant reset button, and we are getting that soon, but for now, we are free-falling, like a plane on fire and heading for the ground fast.
So I guess my lack of motivation is warranted, but I can usually get my shit back on course. I have not been able to in the last month or so.
I will continue to work on ME.
Because I am all that I have.
And if I am not the best me that I can be, then I am following in someone else's footsteps and heading down a path that is not mine.
(Talk about stream of consciousness...)
I think some art is in order.